According to my research, 70% of people engaged in a relationship have trouble making their partner respect their decisions. You might be thinking now if this actually concerns you, but directly or indirectly, you can be affected. Let’s look at this short article that can help bring about that deserved turnaround that you need in your relationship. Let’s consider some reasons why your partner might not respect your decisions.
As funny as it might sound, this is one thing that people don’t really possess. Some people take actions anyhow and it generally affects their behavior. Now, if people know you to be someone that has a carefree attitude towards issues, they won’t respect you at all. That’s the truth. This is a fact that people don’t want to hear because it hits them directly. Some people don’t have common sense before they entered into relationships, now that they are into one, they still don’t have common sense. How will your partner respect your decisions?
There was a lady who never thought she could experience something called love. She didn’t know that she could ever fall in love. And because of this, she did things with a nonchalant attitude. She took decisions rashly and without a single sign of common sense involved. (Note* common sense is using your instincts and experiences to make quick decisions).
She continued this attitude for quite some time and people knew her for it. I also forgot to mention that she was very beautiful. Press the forward button, she finally decided to settle down (most of us were really shocked to see her make that decision..at least, we weren’t expecting it to be from her..lol)
The guy that she got into a relationship with, was her high school mate. We thought all was well, until she messaged me that she was experiencing challenges in her love life. I told her to be precise and she said her boyfriend is always looking down on her decisions and always retaking them for her.
At first, I was a bit angry about it. I messaged the guy and he just laughed. He said and I quote “I take her decisions because I love her. I don’t want her to hurt herself because of carefree actions. There was a time she wanted to take the decision that would have cost her a job…since that time, my level of respect for her decisions dropped”. It was then that I laughed. I did a flashback to the past times and reasoned that she was still exhibiting the same attributes.
If you are someone that fits into this category, then you need to find a solution fast. If you are used to taking rash decisions without thinking of the future, then you need to find a solution now. Fine..you might not be in a relationship yet.. or wait! You are in one already, and you are experiencing this challenge, it’s high time you acquired common sense.
If you are a huge fan of soccer, you would understand this concept. But if you aren’t, I will explain it now.
Goal sense is the ability of a forward/striker to put the ball behind the keeper into the goal post.
The general belief is that, not all footballers have goal sense. Some can finish the ball well, while others can’t. And if the person that can score very well meets the person that can’t score very well, he wouldn’t want to give the person the ball to score. He would want to score by himself because he has better goal sense than the other.
Bottomline is, there might not be enough respect for the person with the higher goal sense for the person with the lesser goal sense. E.g CR7 to Vinicius Junior.
Now, let’s link this to the subject matter.
But before we go on, let me ask you this question “What happens in your relationship if your partner has more goal sense than you? Or you more than your partner?”. Now, the meaning of goal sense in relationship is when you or your partner have visions and goals. If your goals are not in alignment or as valid as your partner’s, then your partner might not respect some of your decisions.
If you are fond of setting goals, like a striker, but you can’t accomplish the goals you set, and your partner sets goals and achieves them at the due time, then it can be said that your partner has more goal sense than you. Not because he/she set goals, but because he/she achieves the goals.
In relationships, there’s respect when you set goals with your partner, and you show work towards achieving them. If you plan to contribute for an apartment …if it’s a 60:40 ratio, then work towards achieving your side of the commitment. Nobody feels happy towards a partner that doesn’t seem to achieve any goals. The moment your partner has more goal sense than you, then the challenges of getting attention towards your goals might be low if not none. You can see me if you need more words on this.
⭐️Methods of making your partner respect your decisions⭐️
We have discussed the reasons why your decisions might not be respected enough, now let’s look at the ways or methods you can adopt to turn the tables and bring about that deserved respect for your decisions.
- ⭐️Let your partner know your worth⭐️
I wrote an article sometime ago titled ‘Knowing your worth’. There, I discussed the full process of mastering your values.
In relationships, you must have the attribute of standing firm. You must know the value you carry. You must know the degree of value that’s in you. Be principled. Be disciplined. Be intelligent, and your partner would give you the utmost respect you deserve.
You must be fully and authentically you. Stand firm. You know your worth in a relationship, you must have the mindset that your partner is really lucky to have you because of the value you possess, because of the attributes you carry, because of your worth. Like I tell people, make your partner feel that you are the only person in around 7 billion people on earth that has what it takes to be the reality of your partner’s dream. When you take decisions, put in that unique trait of yours. When you talk, talk with assurance and common sense. When you say YES, work towards the YES. When you say NO, work towards the NO.
“You can not understand the value of your partner, if you don’t know your own value”
Know your worth, let your partner know your worth, add them together and you will be priceless ⭐️
⭐️Show leadership attributes not bossy attributes⭐️
In relationships, you don’t need to keep reminding your partner and showing attributes of being in charge. My good friend, Mr Philip Johnson, once told me that If I could go for any leadership training, my entire perspective of thinking would change. It means I won’t just see the bigger picture, but I will see the better picture as well.
In most relationships, especially the ones that both of the partners have a bossy nature, need to carefully examine this point. If the guy is always trying to show his ‘manly dominance’ and the woman trying to be the center of attention in the relationship, how will they ever respect their decisions. You should not be bossy in relationships, it won’t get you anywhere. Okayyyy…it was the guy that approached you…or the girl that noticed you firstly…bla bla bla…you want to prove yourself and show that you aren’t cheap, and the next thing is acting like you are your partner’s future boss, in the present. In your mind, you are making a point, but in your partner’s mind, you are erasing the good points he/she has about you.
Being a leader in your relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner is your follower. You can both be leaders and both have the qualities of good leadership. When you are a leader in your relationship, your partner will respect your decisions, not because you initiated it, but because he/she understands, as a leader, that it is the right thing to do at that moment. Leaders share ideas, opinions, while bosses give ideas and opinions. Leaders present an opportunity to other people while bosses give roles, irrespective of the inconveniences.
The difference is very clear here. You must be a leader in your relationship, not a boss. Until you learn the attributes of a good leader, your opinions would just be heard but not respected in a relationship.