Crush, the innocent form of lust

Introduction

 As youths, we are fond of using the word ‘crush’. Maybe there’s a celebrity you admire, or a particular guy/lady in your school, you would often say “I’m crushing on that guy/lady” As innocent and sweet the word might be when pronouncing, I bet you don’t really know the deep and hidden meanings. You would know in this article, let’s proceed✨

⭐️What is the meaning of Crush?⭐️

       Crush is said to be a particular attribute or features that a person displays in which you become enticed to and engaged with. For instance, if I like the way a girl walks, or her hairstyle, or her composure, it can be said that I’m crushing on her. And most times, it is because of a particular attribute that you become interested in that person. You might find out that when that person doesn’t display the particular attribute attracting you, then you would notice that you aren’t becoming attracted to that person again. If you have a crush on someone’s beauty, and the person bleaches, then that initial crush tends to disappear. 

     When I was in junior secondary school, there was this girl that I had a crush on. I was really into her (not what you are thinking oo..lol), more like the feeling of love ❤️. We were actually childhood friends, went to the same church and our parents were quite close. When she gained admission to the secondary school, it was like she gained admission to the school of beauty. She became even more beautiful (although she had big eyeballs that when staring at me, tends to pierce through my heart and read my feelings), there was a time she was looking at me and I felt that she could see the crush I had for her in my heart, I thought my secret had been exposed..lol. 

   ‘Press the forward button’… She went to JSS (junior secondary school) from primary 5. I did primary 6. So in a way, she was my senior (though I didn’t like to admit it). She began moving with new friends and best friends. In church, she was in teenagers class, I was still in primary children’s class. I was now doing long distance admiring. I was afraid to approach her because of her friends. ‘Forward a bit….’

    She left Nigeria for Canada, when she was in SS1 and I in jss3. We lost contact. Two years later, I saw her instagram profile, saw her pictures, and it felt so strange that I didn’t experience the butterflies in my stomach like I did back then. Why? Because, she had changed in appearance. She was now looking chubby and didn’t have the shape anymore (not what you are thinking! Lol). 

I wasn’t interested in her, not even the slightest attraction. This happened because of my law of crush which says “ If you have a crush on someone, it’s temporary and subject to change if the person, changes that particular feature in which you are attracted to”

⭐️What’s the major difference between Crush and Love ❤️ ?⭐️

Before you love someone, you firstly crush on the person, right? It’s normal. So in other words, we are all innocent lustful fellows..lol.

        I tell people that LOVE is the most complicated four letter word I’ve known. It’s such a nice looking word with heavy features. Now, crush and love are two entirely different things. Before you can love ❤️ someone, it means that you’ve crushed on the person, and if the person doesn’t exhibit that attribute again, instead of cutting off, you stay put. If I still feel the initial same way I felt for that girl that left Nigeria for Canada, then it can be said to be love ❤️. It means I’m still attracted to her, no matter how chubby she gets, how bad mannered she might be. And this is the complicated part of love ❤️ because I’ve been blinded by love already. So if she embarrassed me in public, I still get very attracted to her. If it was a crush I had for her, I might have to leave her in annoyance. But true love makes someone looks, sounds and behave stupidly. It’s the truth. This is the major difference. 

  I read something recently, a guy and lady met on social media, they started chatting, etc. Then, they began the game of truth or dare. The guy dares the lady to date him. And the lady stupidly agreed. To cut the story short, the guy is trying to cut the lady off. The lady is seeking help and advice now. 

    What can we say this is? This is not crush or love. It’s Relationship stupidity. How can you meet someone through Truth or Dare, and you expect the relationship to be a happily ever after type? 

    We are mostly youths. That’s why I’m writing this article. Love and crush are different things with different meanings. If you are crushing on someone or you love someone, and you aren’t sure which one it is, then you should see me through my contact info below, we will sort it out together. 

⭐️Reasons why your relationship might end in tears⭐️

    I’ve received many relationship issues in which the guy or lady literally ended their relationship in tears. It’s not a funny matter as the reasons are quite avoidable, and as youths, we know what is good and go ahead to explore the bad aspects, which always end in tears. Let’s check out some vital reasons why yours might end in tears. 

If you enter a relationship because your mates are in one

“Ayo has a boyfriend that takes her to klazz restaurant everyday, I use my money to eat at Kuti cafeteria, Ayo is enjoying wella, let me too have boyfriend that would be spending on me” These were the words of a uite, three weeks before she updated her WhatsApp status that “all boys are scam, idiots and unfortunates” I laughed my ass out because she was the architect of her relationship downfall. Vain things. Vanity upon vanity, all is vanity. If your relationship’s foundation was constructed on material things, you can only build a single room with that foundation. Don’t expect to build a skyscraper with that type of foundation. This is what most people don’t understand. This is what most people need to understand. If you began your relationship with the motive of “my friends are doing it and are happy and not lonely”, then I’m sorry to say, but it might end in tears. As bitter as it sounds, it still remains the truth.

You want to experience the characteristics of being called Boyfriend/Girlfriend

The people on this table are many. In fact, they are like 70% in relationships.

I asked someone one time that why would you want to go into a relationship. She said “I want someone to call me every morning. I want to feel loved and cherished. I want to have that special guy that would buy me presents, take me out, spoil me like a brat…etc”

     Noticed that everything being said by the lady began with ‘I’ that means she was only concerned about how and what she was going to get from the relationship, and not having a partner that would push her to the limits to achieve what she wants to. Some guys want to have girlfriends just to boast to their friends that they have a beautiful girl. To be taking her out during friends gathering. All these are vain reasons. Baseless reasons why you should go into a relationship. If you are in this category, it might end in tears. 

To get experience

    Why should you play with people’s feelings and say you are gaining experience. Experience for what? If you are in this category, you are heartless oo…you will use girls and guys heart to play baseball ⚾️ and say you were gaining experience. Haaaa!! 

Most times, when youths come to me for online counseling, I ask them “what brought about your relationship with….” their answers point to the same direction. “I just wanted to try him/her. He/She attracted me and I wanted to have the feeling of being in a relationship” Bottom line is, they are coming back to me in tears, seeking what to do next. This can be you anytime, if you are in a relationship for experience. You play with the person’s feelings to gain experience when the person is not a job requirement in Nigeria..LOL. 

⭐️Conclusion⭐️

 From what you’ve read above, you would understand that it all points down to our main topic of ‘Crush, the innocent form of lust’  if you go into a relationship because you crush on the person, it’s okay. Before going into a relationship, you must like one or more attributes of that person. So it’s normal. But when you don’t set long terms goals with that person..i.e goals that you can achieve together, then it’s not going to last. Giving money, kissing, hanging out, having s$x, etc, are things that would fade away. Things that you can get tired off. 

My advice to you

      Go into a relationship with someone that has vision. Someone that has goals. Someone that is working for the betterment of the future starting from now. If you have goals, and your partner has goals, you would know what it means to support, love and be there for each other. In fact, you will both be reasoning maturely and your intellectual thinking would be very positive. If you are in this type of relationship, then it would be fantastic, but if you aren’t in this type of relationship, then you have to be wise. Don’t lust over material things. Don’t lust for that fine guy or girl. Instead, love that person for who the person is, and not what you can get from the person, and believe me, you will thank me later. Know that I love and care for you very much. ❤️❤️ Your smile is my inspiration. 

Published by Vincent Ehindero

A co-founder and CEO of High Foster. Vincent is a humorous guy that has a wonderful talent of blending growth secrets with relatable experiences. He is also a founder of a nonprofit organization that focuses on developing children and youths.

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